Respect : It's Not About Self-Esteem!

Social scientist Roy Baumeister has spent more than a decade studying people who possess high self-esteem. He has discovered, for example, that people with high self-esteem tend to have low self-control, especially when they aren't getting their way. They don't handle defeat or disappointment very well. Most stupefying, Baumeister discovered that hard-core criminals - people locked up in maximum-security prisons - score higher on self-esteem assessments than any other group. (reference - John Rosemond, Parenting by the Book).

The opposite of self-esteem is not low self-confidence. The opposite to self-esteem is humility and modesty. Aren't these the qualities that parents 50 years ago would espoused? I propose a simple test to assess the levelof self-esteem in a family - just observe how birthday parties are conducted. In fact, there is a website set up which gives practical advice to parents so that you do not over-inflate your child's sense of self-centeredness when organizing birthday parties! Think about it.

Self-esteem breeds an entitlement attitude - "I am the center of attention". Self-respect on the other hands considers my obligation to others, putting the interest of others above my own. Respect is what holds a community together and the best place to teach and practice respect is right at home.

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