Character : Are You a Far-Sighted Parent?

Ask yourself this question - "How would I desire to describe my child when he or she reaches 30 years old?" Would you want your child to be rich, powerful, well-connected and intelligent? Why, of course! But if given a choice between riches and reputation - which would you rather have? Here's the paradox of parenting :

We say we want to develop our child to be a person of character (in the long term) and yet our day to day actions only reflect our commitment to parent them to their next report card! What we do in the short term contradicts our goal for them in the future! Here's the wake-up call : If we do not parent them differently on a day-to-day basis, do not be surprised if they "suddenly" become rebellious, uncorporative, self-centered and stubborn!

It is not enough just to model good character for your kids. We need to take time to diligently teach character at home. A child has no choice but to misbehave if they are not properly taught. Here are a few practical steps you can take to teach character at home :

1. Have family meals together everyday. Don't just eat but take it as an opportunity to share the happenings of the day, the stories of your past and lessons learnt. Meal times are a fantastic opportunity for you to connect values with the next generation. Somehow, when there is food, the heart is more receptive!
2. Have the habit of reading aloud to your kids. There is something magical about gathering together on the sofa and reading a good story. Add in role-playing and dramatic intonation - you will be creating memories for years to come!
3. Give character definitions. What does patience mean? How does one practice determination? By defining what these character qualities mean, your child will be able to demonstrate it more precisely. Character Training Institute provides a comprehensive list of 49 character qualities for reference.
4. Relate real life stories with character implications. Show them newspaper articles, incidences, stories of success (and failure) - you will be amazed how many of these outcome is due not to a lack of skill, rather it is due to a lack of character. Acquaint your child with the cause-and-effect of a life with and without character and "connect the dots" for them. In this way, you will be developing their conscience to do what is right (especially when you are not around!)

Click here to listen to a live radio interview on BFM on this subject.