To discipline someone is to
disciple that someone. It is about bringing someone to a way of life that has been proven and tested. Often, the word
consequence comes to mind when we talk about the subject of discipline - bringing with it a punitive element. Sure, we may bring the child into compliance through consequence but have we
communicated clearly enough so that the child is not left interpreting our instructions to his own convenience? One sign of incomplete communication is -
constant nagging. If you find yourself nagging your child regularly, it is time to take stock of your C
ommunication-Consistency-Quotient (CCQ) :
- I do not need to repeat my instruction. First time obedience is what I get.
- I do not end my instruction with "OK?". Doing this means I need permission for compliance!
- I say what I mean. I actually carry out what I said I would do because I am willing to put up with short-term childish displeasure for long-term adult responsibility.
- I do not believe in reasoning for change. The child is fundamentally selfish. Action speaks louder.
- My child pays more attention to me than I to him.
How is your score? If you say "No" to any of the above, then you may be in danger of raising a
child-centered family (as opposed to a
parent-centered family).
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Ah!... the Asian obsession with discipline. Its only necessary because Asians have failed to be guides and mentors to their children. Instead they would rather force them into the mould "that has been proven and tested" to produce mindless, unimaginative, obedient and (supposedly) respectful clones
ReplyDeleteHere's some advice .. well balanced respectful individual children are produced by following a worthy role model who inspires them to learn for themselves. Not through abject obedience to a discipline crazed martinet
The Asia you see around you is the result of your philosophy, and that sure is something you must be truly proud of